Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.
Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.
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s01e02Big Flappy Bastards2003-09-3001:00⌄
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Big Flappy Bastards
s01e02 ·
2003-09-30 ·
01:00
Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.
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s01e03Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell2003-10-0701:00⌄
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Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
s01e03 ·
2003-10-07 ·
01:00
Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.
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s01e04If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap2003-10-1401:00⌄
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If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
s01e04 ·
2003-10-14 ·
01:00
Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.
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s01e05The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump2003-10-2101:00⌄
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The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
s01e05 ·
2003-10-21 ·
01:00
Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.
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s01e06Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?2003-10-2802:00⌄
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Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
s01e06 ·
2003-10-28 ·
02:00
The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.
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s01e07If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake2003-11-0402:00⌄
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If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
s01e07 ·
2003-11-04 ·
02:00
Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.
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s01e08Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful2003-11-1102:00⌄
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Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
s01e08 ·
2003-11-11 ·
02:00
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
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s01e09Phase One, Complete2003-11-1802:00⌄
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Phase One, Complete
s01e09 ·
2003-11-18 ·
02:00
Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.
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s01e10Merry Thanksgiving2003-11-2502:00⌄
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Merry Thanksgiving
s01e10 ·
2003-11-25 ·
02:00
When Charlie's favorite ex announces that she is going to get married Charlie attempts to win her back. Tensions arise at a family Thanksgiving.
When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.
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s01e12Camel Filters + Pheromones2004-01-0602:00⌄
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Camel Filters + Pheromones
s01e12 ·
2004-01-06 ·
02:00
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.
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s01e13Sarah Like Puny Alan2004-01-1302:00⌄
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Sarah Like Puny Alan
s01e13 ·
2004-01-13 ·
02:00
Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.
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s01e14I Can't Afford Hyenas2004-02-0302:00⌄
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I Can't Afford Hyenas
s01e14 ·
2004-02-03 ·
02:00
Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.
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s01e15Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)2004-02-1002:00⌄
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Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (1)
s01e15 ·
2004-02-10 ·
02:00
Despite Alan's warning, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie that he meets at the garage.
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s01e16That Was Saliva, Alan (2)2004-02-1702:00⌄
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That Was Saliva, Alan (2)
s01e16 ·
2004-02-17 ·
02:00
Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.
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s01e17Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats2004-02-2402:00⌄
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Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
s01e17 ·
2004-02-24 ·
02:00
Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.
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s01e18An Old Flame with a New Wick2004-03-0202:00⌄
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An Old Flame with a New Wick
s01e18 ·
2004-03-02 ·
02:00
One of Charlie's ex-girlfriends is now a man. It gets better: He starts dating Evelyn, who's clueless about his past history with her son.
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s01e19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You2004-03-2302:00⌄
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I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
s01e19 ·
2004-03-23 ·
02:00
Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.
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s01e20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark2004-04-2001:00⌄
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Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
s01e20 ·
2004-04-20 ·
01:00
Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.
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s01e21No Sniffing, No Wowing2004-05-0401:00⌄
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No Sniffing, No Wowing
s01e21 ·
2004-05-04 ·
01:00
Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.
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s01e22My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet2004-05-1101:00⌄
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My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
s01e22 ·
2004-05-11 ·
01:00
When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.
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s01e23Just Like Buffalo2004-05-1801:00⌄
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Just Like Buffalo
s01e23 ·
2004-05-18 ·
01:00
When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.
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s01e24Can You Feel My Finger?2004-05-2501:00⌄
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Can You Feel My Finger?
s01e24 ·
2004-05-25 ·
01:00
Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.
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