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High School History
s24e15 · 2026-05-18 · 00:00
What it is
Family Guy follows Peter Griffin the endearingly ignorant dad, and his hilariously offbeat family of middle-class New Englanders in Quahog, RI. Lois is Peter's wife, a stay-at-home mom with no patience for her family's antics. Then there are their kids: 18-year-old Meg is an outcast at school and the Griffin family punching bag; 13-year-old Chris is a socially awkward teen who doesn't have a clue about the opposite sex; and one-year-old Stewie is a diabolically clever baby whose burgeoning sexuality is very much a work in progress. Rounding out the Griffin household is Brian the family dog and a ladies' man who is one step away from AA.
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s25e01 · 2027-02-22 · 01:00
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Episode guide
22 this season · 462 totals03e01 The Thin White Line 2001-07-12 01:00
The Thin White Line
Family dog Brian is "in a rut" so he tries volunteerism, then takes a job as a dope-sniffing narc for the Quahog P.D. Trouble is, he likes what he sniffs a bit too much.
s03e02 Brian Does Hollywood 2001-07-19 01:00
Brian Does Hollywood
Brian heads to Hollywood to be screenwriter and the others follow when Stewie is chosen to be on "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Stewie doesn't exactly hit it off with host Bill Cosby but Brian does make his mark in show business, if not in the way he had intended (as a porn "auteur").
s03e03 Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington 2001-07-26 01:00
Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
A conglomerate buys Happy Go Lucky Toys and installs Peter (voice of series creator Seth McFarlane) as president. The conglomerate also owns a tobacco company, and before long Peter is on his way to Washington to testify before Congress on the benefits of smoking.
s03e04 One If by Clam, Two If by Sea 2001-08-02 01:00
One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
Peter and his pals catch a beer-besotted version of the "Spirit of '76" when a Brit buys the Drunken Clam and turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie (also voiced by MacFarlane) plays 'Enry 'Iggins to Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter.
s03e05 And the Wiener is... 2001-08-09 01:00
And the Wiener is...
Meg makes the flag-girl squad at James Woods High. That's "almost a cheerleader," she boasts, but it doesn't impress the cool kids. Meanwhile, Peter (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) develops a severe case of Chris-envy.
s03e06 Death Lives 2001-08-16 01:00
Death Lives
Peter pays a price when he plays golf on his anniversary---he's struck by lightning. Adam Carolla provides the voice of the Grim Reaper, who guides Peter through his "near death experience," which leads to a "revelation" concerning Lois. Also, Peter offers the Reaper dating tips.
s03e07 Lethal Weapons 2001-08-23 01:00
Lethal Weapons
With a few tae-jitsu lessons under her black belt, Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) turns herself into Quahog's answer to Xena, cutting a wide swath through the hordes of obnoxious leaf-peeping tourists from New York. But soon her violent ways begin to hit home.
s03e08 The Kiss Seen Around the World 2001-08-30 01:00
The Kiss Seen Around the World
Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) gets an internship at a TV station. It's a dream job...because she thinks the station's male anchor is dreamy. But it turns nightmarish when the station's other intern, "the biggest dork on the planet," gets a crush on her. Meanwhile, a bully steals Stewie's tricycle.
s03e09 Mr. Saturday Knight 2001-09-06 01:00
Mr. Saturday Knight
Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies suddenly (at the Griffins' house, as it happens), and the toy factory dies with him. Not surprisingly, Peter's "career transition" is less than smooth. Then he decides to follow his 25-year-old dream and become a jouster at Quahog's Renaissance Faire.
s03e10 Fish Out of Water 2001-09-20 01:00
Fish Out of Water
A jobless Peter decides on a line of work fit for "a real New England man": He becomes a fisherman. But there's something fishy about the bank that finances his boat. Meanwhile, Meg and Lois do some serious spring-break partying (Lois does, anyway) at Rhode Island's Narragansett Beach.
s03e11 Emission Impossible 2001-11-09 02:00
Emission Impossible
After Peter helps deliver Lois's sister's baby, he and Lois decide to try to have another kid, but Stewie will attempt to foil their new plan.
s03e12 To Love and Die in Dixie 2001-11-16 02:00
To Love and Die in Dixie
Waylon Jennings has a voice cameo in an episode in which the Griffins discover Southern hospitality---courtesy of the Witness Protection Program. They're in hiding because the convenience-store thief Chris fingers escapes from jail and vows revenge. But should he track Chris (voice of Seth Green) down, he'll have to contend with Sheriff Peter Griffin (series creator Seth MacFarlane).
s03e13 Screwed the Pooch 2001-11-30 02:00
Screwed the Pooch
Peter can't stop trying to impress Lois's father, Mr. Pewterschmidt, and Brian can't take his eye off Pewterschmidt's racing grayhound. Bob Barker has a voice cameo as himself. Series creator Seth MacFarlane provides the voices of Peter, Brian, Pewterschmidt, Bill Gates, an ape and a cockroach.
s03e14 Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother? 2001-12-07 02:00
Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?
When Chris adopts hip-hop speech, Peter (who can't understand a word he's saying) decides to teach his son about his roots. He makes a startling discovery. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes enchanted with the Buddy Cianci Junior High cheerleaders.
s03e15 Ready, Willing, and Disabled 2001-12-21 02:00
Ready, Willing, and Disabled
Joe, Quahog's disabled cop, is depressed after failing to nab a perp, so Peter suggests he compete in the Special People's Games as a confidence booster. His event: the decathlon. His competition: "a trash-talking quadriplegic" (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane). Tony Danza and Valerie Bertinelli have voice cameos as actors playing Joe and his wife, Bonnie, in a movie.
s03e16 A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas 2001-12-22 02:00
A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
It may be the season, but Peter's anything but merry when holiday preparations prevent him from watching his favorite Christmas special, "KISS Saves Santa." And soon the family experiences the same lack of spirit when they're compelled to do last-minute shopping. Members of KISS provide their own voices.
s03e17 Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows 2002-01-18 02:00
Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
Brian, depressed over bad luck in love, is convicted of DUI and sentenced to care for an ornery old woman whose past comes to the attention of celebrity watcher A.J. Benza. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard, which displeases Lois (who isn't alone in thinking that it's for the birds).
s03e18 From Method to Madness 2002-01-25 02:00
From Method to Madness
Stewie displays some show-business talent---as long as he's paired with a girl he despises; Meg develops a crush on a teenage nudist. Fred Willard has a voice cameo as the boy's father (who's also a nudist).
s03e19 Stuck Together, Torn Apart 2002-02-01 02:00
Stuck Together, Torn Apart
Lois runs into an old male friend from school and they renew their friendship. When Peter finds out, he gets jealous, to say the least. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie get themselves stuck together with industrial-strength glue. Jennifer Love Hewitt has a voice cameo as herself.
s03e20 Road to Europe 2002-02-08 02:00
Road to Europe
Brian and Stewie stow away on a plane they think is bound for England. They're wrong, and soon they're in Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of a long, strange trip back home. Meanwhile, back in the U.S., Peter and Lois have an odd encounter with KISS.
s03e21 Family Guy Viewer Mail (1) 2002-02-15 02:00
Family Guy Viewer Mail (1)
Three mini-episodes. In the first, a genie grants Peter three wishes and he ends up being propositioned by Catherine Zeta-Jones (voice of Alex Borstein). Then, exposure to toxic waste gives the Griffins super powers (one per Griffin). Finally, in flashbacks, L'il Peter braves a haunted house (for awhile) to impress L'il Lois.
s03e22 When You Wish Upon a Weinstein 2004-12-11 02:30
When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.